I mentioned in my last post that my biggest flaw is in trusting God. I’ve developed a fear of the unknown, and a fear of big changes that aren’t initiated by me.
My dad was in town and visiting me and my husband this week. He mentioned that I tend to let my external circumstances dictate my emotions, rather than finding peace in the fact that I’m making progress toward the life I want.
The thing is, I absolutely hate feeling stuck. And I’m feeling very stuck right now. Yes, I’m supposed to graduate in December, but I’ve been in school for so long that it feels like it’s never going to end. School prevents me from finding the kind of work I really want, and keeps me living in a horrible apartment in a town I really don’t like. Given these circumstances, which are aided by the fact that I am prone to feelings of anxiety, it’s pretty easy for me to feel like I’m stuck in a rut. But after my dad made the observation that he did, I’ve been looking for devotionals to give me some answers on how to find that heavenly peace.
I’ve never been taught how to look beyond my circumstances and find peace in the storm. But every devotional I’ve found has said that finding peace in God comes from trusting Him and His plans for us. I guess trusting God plays a bigger role in my life than I thought.
I still have a long way to go when it comes to letting go and letting God handle things, but I can feel a change of heart coming on.